The Do Over Page 12

  "Don't you think that we should talk about that?" he asked, crossing his arms.

  I knew the answer to that one. "No," I responded quickly. After the tenth time he'd asked me, I thought it had been evident that I didn't want to talk about it.

  He cocked his head to the side, narrowing his stare. "Do you want to be with him?"

  "No. He's a selfish asshole. It's just all the other stuff." I waved my hands around.

  "What's the other stuff?" he asked calmly as he waved his hands in a less animated fashion.

  Glowing a dark orange, the room was lit by a small table lamp near the door. I preferred to hide in the dark. "I don't want to talk about it."

  "We don't always get to do what we want. Sometimes you do it because you need to," he said, taking control.

  I could tell his patience was running very thin. His body language changed as he rubbed his neck and leaned his head back. I wasn't making this easy, but he didn't understand. He started pacing in the small area of my living room. I was probably making it much worse, but I couldn't stop. Like riding a runaway train, I was convinced that I was living the self-fulfilling prophecy. Liam was done with me. This was it. That thought frightened me to my core.

  "Please…" I paused and moved closer to him. "Hold me."

  I wanted to feel his embrace. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my head. When I looked up at him, he held my stare. Pushing up on my tiptoes, my lips skimmed his.

  "I'm having an internal battle right now," he said, taking a step away from me, "between giving you what you need and…"

  Before he could finish, I pulled back defensively. "Or walking out that door," I snapped at him, pointing to the front door.

  I braced myself for his response. I had a bottle of wine, some Häagen-Dazs, and cookie dough primed for the post-dumping recovery binge. This is it. I thought I'd given him his out.

  Instead, he was angry. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He asked, raising his voice as he furrowed his brow. He paused, rubbing his temple. "Do you really think I want to walk out that door?"

  I wasn't about to be yelled at in my own home, so I stood my ground. "It's what they all do!" I shouted. "And this is my house, so don't scream at me. In fact, don't ever raise your voice at me."

  He leaned against the counter, bracing himself, as he shook his head. "I'm not all of them. I get that you've been screwed over by assholes. I get it. Have I done anything at all to make you think I'm like them?" he asked, keeping his voice down and controlled. His jaw clenched.

  "I know you're not them!" I paced the tiny room. "You think you get it, but you don't. You don't get what you mean to me or how much I care. You don't get how scared I am to get hurt again. So, no, you just don't get it."

  As he looked at me incredulously, I thought he was going to sprout another head.

  "I don't get it?" he asked with blazing eyes. "Really? I don't get it? First of all, how do you know I won't get it if you won't even talk me? Second of all, don't assume that I'm oblivious to your feelings. Do you even know what you mean to me? Do you have any idea how much I care about you? Do you have an inkling of an idea of how much I think about you or how much I want to be with you? Do you get that at all?"

  I couldn't hold back the tears. As I stood in the darkened room, Liam paced, stopped, looked up at the ceiling, and then paced some more. He went from running his hands through his hair to holding the bridge of his nose.

  He stopped pacing. "I wasn't battling with that door," he said, pointing to the front door, "but with that one." He pointed toward my bedroom. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

  "I care about you too much," I whimpered. "I'm too vulnerable, and that scares me to death."

  He came up to me, tilted up my face, and then pressed his lips against mine. "Baby, you're everything to me. You have no idea how much I want you. I'm not going anywhere." He held me tight. "I'm sorry I lost my temper."

  When he kissed me sweetly, my body sank into his arms.

  I pulled back slightly. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I ruined our evening. I hate that seeing my ex brought my insecurities to the surface. I started thinking of all the worst-case scenarios. I thought you were planning our breakup in the car and being very evil and sadistic about it. I'm sorry for everything."

  "When did you think I was being evil and sadistic?" he asked.

  "When I was orchestrating your breakup with me."

  "You seriously thought I was going to break up with you?"

  "As serious as a heart attack."

  "It's a good thing I know CPR," he said, dragging me closer to him.

  "I'm so sorry." As tears welled in my eyes, I sank into his chest and tightened my hold around him. Liam is not Rick. Liam is Liam.

  He rubbed circles on my back. "We're good."

  "I hate when I get scared. I become this crazy person that I don't like. How can you like me if I can't stand myself right now? I honestly don't know why you're still here." I looked up for reassurance.

  "I'm so crazy about you," he said, smiling softly. "Do you believe me?"

  "Yes," I mumbled, nodding my head.

  "I have no control over the past. I want a chance to show you that you can trust me. I won't hurt you, at least not on purpose. I'll probably do stupid shit, but I'm not an asshole, and I have no plans on becoming one."

  "I know you're not an asshole. That's what makes you even more lethal."

  He stroked my face with the back of his hand. "You are cute when you're being dramatic. So, what happened today?"

  "I was sitting at the table, getting ready to read, when he showed up out of the blue. It was surreal. It was like all the hurt resurfaced, and my heart broke all over again. I told him to leave, and he did. He looked sad, and that made me mad. Then, I thought about how great everything is between us, and I panicked."

  "I'm sorry that you had to go through that." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Honestly, I don't want to hear about old boyfriends, but I do want to know when something hurts you. You can talk to me, and I'll listen to you. You're not alone."

  Absorbing his words, I put my head against his chest. I wasn't alone. Liam is Liam.

  With the evening being emotional and draining, a yawn escaped me.

  "Someone's tired." He kissed the top of my head. "I should get going."

  I craved his comfort. He hadn't stayed over yet, but I didn't want him to leave. "Please stay." My arms tightened around him. "I don't want to let you go."

  I took his hand and led him toward my room. Stopping in front of the door, his gaze met mine, transfixed. His eyes glanced at my mouth. My lips parted as my eyes closed in response. When his mouth met mine, his tongue slid along my lower lip. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my hands through his hair. He pulled me in closer, deepening the kiss. My hands slid down, my fingers lightly caressing his face. He leaned into my touch.

  As much as I wanted him, I was nervous. It'd been so long.

  He sensed my apprehension. "I'm only going to hold you tonight," he said in a seductively husky voice.

  My breathing shallowed while my heart fluttered.

  He leaned in and softly kissed me again with his hands on the sides of my face. "I'm going to show you what you mean to me."

  When his lips brushed my ear, I moaned softly.

  "I'm going to prove to you who I am."

  As he kissed my neck, my heart welled up and overflowed. When a tear escaped my eye, he wiped it away with his thumb. While he tucked my hair behind my ears, our eyes locked, his eyes penetrating to the depths of my soul. I'd never felt this before. This wasn't about sex. This was unbridled passion.

  He kept his eyes fixed on mine as his hands slid under the hem of my shirt. The sensation of his touch against my bare skin sent shivers throughout my body. After he pulled off my top, he kissed me while his hands carefully explored my body, his touch gentle and sensual.

  "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he said, his eyes admiri
ng me.

  After I helped him take off his shirt, my hands moved across his chiseled chest. He walked me toward the bed and laid me back on it. Holding my hands over my head, he trailed kisses along my exposed neck and across my collarbone.

  He kneeled at the side of the bed and pulled off my boots. As he kneaded my feet, his movements tender, my senses went on overload. When he looked up, his eyes and the expression on his face embraced my heart.

  "The first time I looked into your eyes, I wanted to comfort you and hold you," he said as he positioned himself over me.

  He eased off my skinny jeans. "When we watched the sunrise, I knew I wasn't going to let you go." He trailed kisses down my legs.

  I was panting, nearing orgasm, from just his kisses and touch.

  He moved next to me and caressed my face. "You mean everything to me." He kissed me with passion, desire, and something else that was new to me.

  When he leaned his head against my forehead, I could barely breathe.

  My hand rested on his chest, feeling his heart beat wildly.

  "Tonight, it's about you, okay?" he whispered.

  I nodded in agreement.

  He trailed kisses down my neck while his hands covered my body without hesitation. He unsnapped my bra and pulled it off, revealing my full breasts. His mouth found one nipple as his hand teased the other. The sensation caused a ripple to course through my body. I ran my fingers through his hair and wrapped my legs around him. He continued to assault my senses with his mouth and hands, leading me to my first orgasm. Squeezing my nipple, he worked his way down, nipping and kissing until he reached my panties. His words and touch mixed with my heightened senses sent tremors through my body.

  He kissed the inside of my thighs while his hands slid down my body, stopping to toy with the band of my panties. When I lifted my hips, he eased them off.

  "You're all I think about," he said, sliding his hand down between my legs.

  Aroused could not begin to express the state that I was in. As his fingers began to explore my folds, I could barely keep it together. His fingers circled me gently until two penetrated me. My hips rocked rhythmically with the movement. The pressure was intense, and the orgasm overtook me.

  "Liam," I cried out with my release.

  Before I could recover, he buried his head between my legs. His tongue licked and circled me. I couldn't control myself. Holding on to his head, my fingers laced through his hair as he slowly sucked on my clit. His mouth expertly brought pleasure to me in an indescribable way. I arched, throwing my head back, as I called out his name again in ecstasy.

  Pulling himself up, he dragged me into his chest, kissing me with passion and heart. "All yours, baby. I'm all yours," he said, nuzzling his head into my neck.

  He got up and returned with a T-shirt for me to wear. He got in bed, wearing nothing but boxers. "Barrier," he said.

  When he pulled me close to him, I felt his warmth and his heart. He buried his head in my hair and squeezed me tightly.

  Is this what it feels like to be loved?

  The sun was shining through her blinds. I definitely had to pick up something from Home Depot to block out that light. I didn't know how she could sleep with the brightness filling her room. She must be used to it. She looked so peaceful, sleeping very soundly. I loved waking up next to her, but I didn't like…okay, fine, I'd hated fighting with her. I didn't want to ever do that again. I knew all couples fought. I just didn't want to have the fight where she thought the door was an option. The truth was that she was deep under my skin.

  The good thing about our fight was that we had gotten a lot of things out in the open, and it gave us a push forward. God, I love kissing her and touching her body. Last night, I'd constantly reminded myself that I'd wanted it to be about her. She'd needed to be cherished more than she'd needed my dick. My dick had disagreed. Honestly, I'd almost exploded in my pants a couple of times. Still, I'd known it wasn't about me. I hadn't made it about me either, even though at times I'd wanted it to be about me, especially when she'd moaned and moved against my hand. That had been out-of-this-world hot.

  I shouldn't have thought about her naked body while she was lying next to me. Now, I had morning wood. I had to get dressed before I did what I really wanted to do. I kissed her lightly and rolled out of bed.

  I took a quick shower. My choices were Japanese Cherry Blossom or Dream Angels Desire by Victoria's Secret. Damn. I was going to smell like a girl, but at least, I'd smell like my girl. After this, Chris would definitely put me in the chick category. I didn't give a shit. I'd woken up next to her, and that was all that mattered to me.

  After my shower, I heard a knock at the front door. Dani was still sleeping, so I quickly got dressed and headed to answer the door. Standing on the other side was Macy. She was pacing around and texting wildly on her phone.

  I opened the door. "Good morning, Macy. What are you doing here at, uh…eight on a Sunday morning?"

  She stared at me with her mouth wide open. "Um, what are you doing here at eight in the morning…with wet hair?" she asked in a sly tone. She quickly began texting again, and then she started talking very fast. "I didn't know you were here. If I did, I wouldn't have knocked. Oh, that doesn't sound right. How was I supposed to know you were here?"

  "Macy, slow down. It's okay. Dani's still sleeping. I'm sure she'll be up soon. And look right there…" I pointed at the car parked right next to Dani's. "That's my car."

  "I thought it was Dani's rude neighbor who always parks in her space and pisses the crap out of her. You know she has a thing about boundaries, right?"

  She came in and gave me the customary kiss on the cheek. As she hugged me, she placed her hand on my chest and left it lingering there a little longer than I felt comfortable with.

  "Wow, Dani wasn't kidding. Do you work out? And, damn, you smell scrumptious."

  "You're weirding me out, Mace." I stepped back.

  She patted my chest. "Oh, please. Dani's my best friend, and I'm friends with your buddy. I just wanted a little close-up. Yes, it's true. Dani did not exaggerate at all."

  Making herself at home, Macy dropped her things on the couch and walked into the kitchen. She pulled out a yogurt and sat on the bar stool near the counter, looking at me. She was freaking me out with the way she was staring.

  I asked, "Do you always come over this early on a Sunday morning?"

  She flipped her hair back and straightened up. "No, I just had a feeling when she didn't text me after she got home last night that she would need me today, so I came. That's what best friends do. I texted Candace. She has a family thing to attend, but she's on standby if I need her," Macy said. Then, mischievously, she asked, "I suppose it's a good thing that I have you here all to myself. We should discuss some matters. Did Dani tell you?"

  "Tell me what? And whatever Dani tells me is between the two of us," I said, knowing that I was treading on very thin ice here.

  Shit, I can't talk about Dani with her friend. That's crazy. Why do girls do this shit?

  "She didn't tell you about her, um…condition?" Macy asked, looking almost disappointed. "I told her that she needed to. It's the right thing to do."

  All I heard was condition. Holy shit, I hope Dani is okay. The thought of something being wrong with her concerned me. "What condition are you talking about? Is she okay? I mean, I should talk to her about this. Just tell me, please, she's okay, right?" I asked apprehensively.

  "I can't believe her," she said, shaking her head. "Damn her. Did she at least take Advil? I can't believe how irresponsible she is."

  "Macy, you're freaking me out again, and now, I'm getting fucking worried here. What the hell are you talking about? What's wrong with Dani?" I was starting to panic.

  She started opening the cabinets, and then she pulled out the Advil and a bottle of water. "Dani would totally kill me for telling you, but considering you're here this morning, I think her condition might be remedied." She winked.

  At this point, I sat
down on a bar stool near the counter. I was really falling hard for Dani. Shit, I can't even get her out of my mind. Macy was confusing the fuck out of me, and I had no idea what the hell she was saying. My mouth was suddenly very dry, and I needed some water. I got up and opened the fridge, reaching for a bottle.

  "Just tell me that she's okay or she's going to be okay," I pleaded with her. "What is going on?"

  "Liam, you're completely confusing me with your line of questions," Macy said, shaking her head as she licked yogurt off her spoon. "Is she okay? She's on the path to recovery, and you are extremely good for her. I haven't seen her this happy in years. Wait, I've never seen her this happy with a man. By the way, what are your intentions with her anyhow?"

  "Macy, goddamn it, just tell me," I snapped at her.

  She looked at me with disapproving eyes.

  "I'm sorry, Macy. I'm just worried out of my mind right now. My intentions with Dani are honorable. I really like her. I care about her. Okay? And the idea that something is wrong with her is scaring the living shit out of me. So, please…"

  Macy started laughing. Women can be so cruel. I thought she was Dani's best friend. How can she be laughing at a time like this?

  "You think something's wrong with her? Oh, that's so funny. No, there's nothing wrong with her…well, except for her condition, which I hope you took care of last night. Please tell me that you took care of her condition last night."

  "Macy, what the fuck are you talking about? Is Dani okay? She's not sick, right?" I asked, frustrated and relieved.

  "Chill out. She's not sick. She's fine, except for the fact that she clearly didn't tell you about her condition," Macy said, rolling her eyes.

  It was still early in the morning. I hadn't had any caffeine yet. Sitting in my girlfriend's kitchen while she was asleep, I was talking to her best friend who was making no sense at all.

  "Macy, dear, I'm a guy. I don't speak chick. English, please. What on earth are you talking about? And is Dani going to be upset if she found out you were telling me this? If she will be, then I don't want to know. If she has something to tell me, then she can tell me," I said as calmly as I could.